Let’s Talk About New York Part II.

new yorker

About a month ago I wrote a little blog post about my perception of New York City. Many readers may agree or disagree with what I had to say but I am sure everyone found at least one bit of truth to the argument I proposed. Now I know that living in New York is not a universal experience that everyone can relate to, but in order to better explain myself I decided to write a second blog post where I explain my view of New York by comparing it to a man. Here it goes:

New York City is that shitty boyfriend you’re so crazy about that you never manage to leave him. And if you ever do leave him you always keep him in the back of your mind wondering why things never worked out. You endure it’s shitty winter, pay it’s overpriced rent and make yourself feel better by telling yourself that all of these sacrifices will be worth it when you finally get to live the life you always envisioned yourself living with him. Except most of the time your shitty boyfriend just stays shitty forever and even though you secretly know that you are wasting spending your youth working towards nothing you still convince yourself to stay a little bit longer to see if things change.

The curious thing is that leaving him never seems to cross your mind. You are simply never willing to give up on this city/man’s potential of giving you everything you ever dreamed of. You know no one else will provide you with the thrills, exhilaration and amount of extreme emotions as he will. The thought of giving him up to pursue a conventional life sounds as logical as giving up you Louboutin stilettos for Nike Trainers (event though Louboutins hurt the hell out of your feet.) Its like leaving James Dean for an accountant who wears khakis. Its the eternal promise that one day this man will treat you right and give you everything he promised you that makes you stay.

So once again I repeat: New York is like a really shitty boyfriend. Its difficult and most times the negatives outweigh the positives, but you are so completely blinded by love you decide to overlook all of them. And that kind of passion is really hard to replicate.

Let’s Talk About New York

warhol

Let’s talk about New York City, the city that never sleeps, the one that promises you that if you can make it here you can make it anywhere. Millions of people come to New York with a sparkle in their eyes and with the hope that this city will make all of their dreams come true. And for some this actually ends up being the case, however this post is not about them. This post is about the few things that I have learned since moving here almost two years ago.

New York is a city that is constantly pushing you out. It doesn’t really have room for you, it already has enough people. It doesn’t welcome you when you arrive, doesn’t need you when you are here and it certainly doesn’t miss you when you leave. And inevitably most people do. Be it for financial reasons or simply a need for a more peaceful lifestyle, most of these dreamers end up packing up their fantasies and leaving the city that promised to fulfill them.

However after all the observations I have made in the past 20 months, New York is still the one pool I would happily drown in. I guess you could say I’m a fan of complicated relationships.

Yoga A Manicure And A Hairdo? There’s An App For That.

In our technology crazed world it seems that we can get virtually anything we want with a few clicks and a few taps on our phone. But what happens when you want beauty, fitness or fun “on demand”? Here are 3 apps that will provide anything from at home manicures to blowouts to personal trainers all from the comfort of your smartphone.

Priv

Priv: This app offers a wide range of services like at home blowouts and private yoga sessions and massages all delivered to your home. It employs a big team freelance professionals whom are ranked via a tier system based on relevant experience, years in the business, and celebrity clientele. What’s even more amazing is that the app shows you the candidate that is closest to you at the moment, so you know exactly how long you will have to wait for their services. Think: Uber for manicures.

glamsquad

Glamsquad: Glamsquad if your on demand beauty salon. Like seamless but for beauty services. You select from a wide menu of beauty services, plug in your credit card, set up an appointment and voila! You can get all the services you normally have to travel to multiple salons for, all at the comfort of your home or office. What’s even more convenient about it is that all transactions are made through the app, so you don’t even have to worry about taking out cash to pay you beautician.

vensette

Vensette: Vensette can be considered the Net-A-Porter of on demand beauty services. It’s main focus is to provide it’s clientele with high end beauty services such as full makeup applications and sophisticated up-dos. It’s the kind of app one would use when going to a wedding or a formal event. What’s even more awesome is that one can look through a makeup artist’s or hairstylist’s professional portfolio before deciding who to hire. It sure eliminates having to worry about what the end product is going to look like!

Lessons In Adulthood.

What I have learned wished I had learned and have yet to learn after a year of attempting to be an adult.

adulthood

-Always check your bank account. No really, debit cards have made us believe that we hold a key to infinite money. Truth be told, adult life is expensive, you will often find yourself in situations where there is way too much month left at the end of your money. You don’t want your overdraft email to be the one deciding whether or not you are going out this weekend.

-Always keep your phone charged. This isn’t college anymore where coming home after a party was a group activity. So for the sake of your worried friends trying to find you at 4 am, please keep your phone charged at all times. Also, you can’t really make a booty call with a dead phone.

-No job is beneath you and you are not overqualified for anything. Having a college degree doesn’t make you a super hero, it just makes you part of the 92% of Americans who have a college degree. That being said, if you’re at a job you feel useless at, where day and night you question your reasons for existing and makes you feel so shitty you can’t even live up to your fullest potential then get the fuck out of there. FAST.

-On that note, clean up your language. It’s really embarrassing to be post-collegiate and have a vocabulary so poor you need to curse every three words just to make a point. Also, it doesn’t look cute when a girl curses so often.

-Learn to make decisions. Follow your dreams even if it means defying conventions. Yes its super scary to take risks knowing there is a good chance you will fail, but you want to know a sure way of failing? Abstaining.

-If at first you don’t succeed do as your mother told you. That’s right, as much as we hate to acknowledge this Mamma is always right. In 24 years of experience I can say that I could have saved myself a lot of time and energy if I would have listened to my mom more often.

-Know and accept that not everyone is going to like you. You are not fucking Nutella, you can’t please everyone in this world. On the other hand, don’t spend so much time hating on other people. The reality of the matter is that hating isn’t going to make others like that person less and you are very likely wasting energy on someone who doesn’t even stop to think twice about you.

-What Susie says of Sally says more about Susie than about Sally. When people talk shit about other people they are usually criticizing what they hate about themselves. Next time you catch someone engaging in such activity, hand him or her a mirror.

-Love comes in all shapes, sizes and varieties. Just because someone doesn’t speak the same language of love as you do, doesn’t mean they don’t love you deeply in their own twisted way. However, you know what language IS universal? Respect. Never love someone who doesn’t respect you.

-Never buy a non-refundable ticket to Mexico. In fact never buy a non-refundable anything to anywhere. Life throws us curve balls, plans change and when they do you will be really mad at yourself because you deliberately threw away money you could have spent on going to see someone worthy of being visited.

-People have sex with strangers all the time; it doesn’t really mean anything. However standing in front of a person, looking at them in the eye and telling them you love them, now that’s being fucking naked.

-Don’t forget you get to write your own story. What plot twists would you include if you had the power to write it the way you would write a script? Think about that one.

Keep it sloppy,

A