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We all have that friend, the one who cries incessantly about her no-good boyfriend and yet can’t seem to let go of him. In fact, you probably have been guilty yourself of dating someone who treated you way worse than you deserved, but you wouldn’t call it quits because of his bad boy sex appeal. This leads to the age-old question: why do girls insist on dating bad boys and then act surprised when they treat them like sh*t?
The answer to this question can be divided in two: first, safe is no fun. Second, it is all a matter of ego. Let me elaborate more on both.
Bad boys are risk takers; they keep you on your toes. They are unpredictable, and let’s face it, it’s really excited to be with someone who will always surprise you with his next move. There is no excitement in a guy who treats you like a princess. You expect good behavior all the time and then it just becomes routine and, well, boring.
We tend to appreciate things we have to work hard for a lot more than we appreciate things that come easily to us. Bad boys are always a challenge and we thrive in our conquest of pinning them down. Everyday with him just feels like a huge gamble, which is why the latter rewards feel so good.
Girls like to talk and girls like drama. If we didn’t date bad boys then we would have no drama to talk about when we go out for drinks with our friends, simple as that. Also, you are more likely to question the success of your relationship if everything is going right than if there is a little drama here and there.
Because of their bad boy nature, these dudes are always willing to go the extra mile for the girl they love. Dating is a game and the bad boy will go all-in to play it, with extra wit and better pick up lines than any nice guy. Movies have taught us to glorify bad boys, and let’s face it, everyone wants a relationship like the ones they see in the movies.
But the sexiest thing about a bad boy is the possibility of changing him into the man we wish he were. Yeah your mom always told you that you should never have to change anyone to be with him, but our egos are trained to thing otherwise. Every girl wants to say that she is the girl who tamed the bad boy. She wants the right to brag about the fact that she was the one who “changed him,” It’s all a matter of ego.
However, never make the mistake of confusing masochism with an attraction to bad boys. Believing you are not worthy of being treated better than the bad boy treats you, or thinking that’s the way you are meant to be treated is a whole different animal than having an attraction to bad boys.
And for those girls who cant break their bad boy habit, always remember that the exact things that make the bad boy sexy are what in the long run will make him a really bad boyfriend.
Adriana Herdan | Elite.
I Know I have overused this quote but “in order for a relationship to work there are two defining factors: love and timing. And timing can be a real bitch.” There couldn’t be a more accurate quote to describe my current situation.
So my question is, how does one react to this? Should you be thankful that you go the chance to be with this person even if it was just for a brief moment in time or do you wish you never met them because then you wouldn’t know what you have been missing out on this entire time?
siempre seremos para alguien la persona correcta, que conocieron en el momento equivocado.
Click here to read my latest article for Elite Daily.
Dating and having relationships is an important part of the human experience. Most of you will agree that finding that one person that is just right for you, that treats you the way that you want to be treated and talks to you the way you want to be talked to, is one of the most — if not the most — important goals in life. There are so many beautiful people on this planet.
A good amount of them can be found living in relatively close proximity to us. I do not doubt that in your neighborhood alone you will find at least a handle of attractive people of whatever your sexual preference.
Even if you lived in West Bumblef*ck, I am sure there is at least one person in your town or village that you wouldn’t mind boning. Yet, there is a high probability that at one point or another in our lives, we will find ourselves in what we like to a call a long-distance relationship. My question is: Why?
Unless you grew up on watching foreign romance films, I don’t see any way that a girl living in America could actually want to marry a Frenchman. We usually are okay with getting our pickings from nearby — say, in the same country.
Nevertheless, people come to visit from abroad and you occasionally meet them. I myself had a short fling last summer with a foreigner and I will be honest, I plan on visiting her in Paris some time soon — but I’m going there to get some good, wine-fueled, European loving, not to begin a relationship. And that’s how it should be: bag the foreigners and date local.
This is why I love NYC…dating the locals usual means dating foreigners. What can I say? I like them exotic, imported. But I have had several friends in the past in long-distance relationships. And no, none of them are still together. In fact, I have one friend that is about to begin a long-distance relationship with a guy from Belgium. Idiots. Why would anyone think that a long-distance relationship is a good idea?
I mean, I get the initial appeal — all romantic seeming and what not. I get the want of having to long for a person, to miss them; it intensifies the feelings that you have for that person. The less you physically see a person, the more you begin to deposit your own projection of who you believe them to be onto their being rather than seeing them as they really are.
There is something that gets lost when the human interaction that you have with a person is mainly via tech gadget. For starters, body language is extremely important. Secondly, it’s hard to have sex over an Ethernet cable — Skype just doesn’t quite hit the spot.
Not having sex for extended periods of time can’t be good for your health. Actually, I’m sure it won’t kill you, but why date someone that you can only sleep with a handful of times in a year when you can date someone that lives closer by and will rock your world several times a week? That’s a ton of orgasmic difference.
If you can see your lover at least once a week, then I can still understand keeping them around. When going into a relationship, we must go into it with a purpose. Ask yourself not only why you are dating this person, but why you are dating at all. What do you want out of the relationship? Where do you ultimately want things to go? It’s okay to say that you just want to see where things will go, but only if the person lives on the same continent.
Seeing where things will go with a person that lives in the same city is one thing; seeing where things will go with a person that lives a plane flight away is a whole other. A relationship’s development over a distance is sluggish if not entirely stagnant.
If you are seriously dating someone because you want to spend time with them…then a long-distance relationship is not the right choice. If you are dating because you want sex… then a long-distance relationship is not the right choice.
If you are dating because you want to find the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with…then a long-distance relationship is not the right choice; sooner or later you will need to see each other weekly in order for anything serious to develop. However, if you are in a long-distance relationship with someone because you love them, then I’m sorry my friend; you are screwed.
The one and only excuse that I will accept for being in a long-distance relationship is being in love. When you fall for someone, the choice of whether or not you ought to be dating someone essentially evaporates. If you love a person, then not being able to at the very least talk to them regularly will be more painful than the possibility of a breakup.
The good news — or bad news, depending on how you look at it — you won’t be capable of staying away from each other for very long. Slowly but surely the urge to be with each other will be unbearable and you will have no choice but to live in the same city.
This, again, has its own dangers. Often at times, the love that we feel during a long-distance relationship fades shortly after the happy couple begins to spend more time together. It’s easy to over-romanticize things when a long distance separates you.
It’s much more difficult to keep the flame burning when you see each other everyday. To sum up: avoid long-distance relationships if at all possible. You will be much happier dating someone you can actually spend quality time with regularly and not only over quick, short spurts. If you are head-over-heels for that person living in Bulgaria, then…best of luck.
Paul Hudson | Elite.
For more from Paul, follow him on Twitter @MrPaulHudson
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Just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, there are also no pre-determined parameters of the kind of person you’re meant to be attracted to. Some girls are attracted to guys with six packs, others like a little bit of belly. Some like them blonde some like them tall, dark and handsome and some like a combination of all, some or none of the above. After a long conversation with my friends, where we analyzed all the people I have dated or been attracted to in the past, we discovered what my weakness in men is: younger guys. Yes people, I’m a Puma (girl who dates younger guys but isn’t old enough to be considered a cougar.)
In the olden days it was only acceptable that a girl would date a guy who was older than her, and if she dared date someone younger she would be shunned from society. Ok so maybe I’m exaggerating, but it seems that couples where the girl is older than the guy are becoming both increasingly common and socially acceptable. Now lets analyze why it’s so great to date a younger guy.
1-) They try harder: They feel so lucky and excited about the fact that they have the chance to be with an older woman that they will try their best to “man up” (pun absolutely intended) and impress their Puma.
2-) They’re more fun: This depends a lot on how much older you are than your guy, but general rule of thumb a guy who is three years younger than you will be a lot funner than one who is three years older than you and is probably in a more advanced stage in his professional life than the younger guy (although this isn’t always the case, a lot of kids get their shit together from a very early age, and a lot of guys just never get their shit together.)
3-) They are very eager to please you: Both in the bedroom and outside, since they are under the illusion (false or real) that you have more experience than them and have a long trajectory of being wined and dined in really amazing places. Your younger guy will put a good amount of effort into wooing you with awesome dates and will also have a strong desire to please you and learn from you in the bedroom because he believes that your age equates to you being more knowledgeable than him.
4-) They respect you more: His mom always told him to respect his elders, and this includes the women that he dates as well ;).
5-) He will be you biggest fan: The fact that you are older sub-consciously makes him look up to you. No guy will ever be prouder of your achievements than a younger guy.
6-) They bring out the absolute best in you: Let’s be honest here, a girl will never take a younger guy as seriously as she would an older guy, not at first at least. This gives you an unconscious license to let your guard down and be goofier and more free-spirited than you would normally allow yourself with an older guy. With a youngster you’re not afraid to let him see you at your absolute worst, which means he will see your best side and your worst side and very likely still love you, because he sees you as his trophy (hey man! I’m dating and older chick!). Believe it or not, in the long run this will make you happier than you could ever be with a guy you feel you need to impress. And this my friends is why I absolutely love dating younger guys.
What is it about bad boy that makes it so hard to stay away?
And why are women so dumb, that they keep falling for bad boys and then acting surprised when they behave like complete assholes?
Shoot me an email when you figure it out, will ya?
There is something that has been bothering me a while now and I feel that my followers could clear my doubts about this topic I need clarifying with. Miley Cyruss has been engaged to be married to the same man for about a year and people call her a Ho, but Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend every week and she’s wholesome? There’s got to be something wrong in the way we use these terms.
After listening to 20 different songs about her 20 failed relationships with 20 different guys, doesn’t it make sense to conclude that maybe she’s the problem?