Model Scouts Recruit Girls Outside Eating Disorder Clinics.

Original article can be found on The Huffington Post.

Modeling agencies in Sweden have come under fire this week following claims thatscouts solicited young girls outside specialized eating disorder clinics.

According to Sweden’s The Local, staff at the Stockholm Center for Eating Disorderstold Swedish-language media that agents have approached teenage patients outside the clinic, presumably to recruit new models.

“We think this is repugnant. People have stood outside our clinic and tried to pick up our girls because they know they are very thin,” Anna-Maria af Sandeberg, the center’s director and chief physician, told Metro newspaper (according to a translation by The Local). “It sends the wrong signals when the girls are being treated for eating disorders.”

Though the incidents occurred last year, news of the controversial practice only recently came to light after employees who witnessed the scouts approaching girls contacted local media.

As the Agence France-Presse notes, the center has since changed its schedule to head off potential run-ins.

While the names of the scouts and their associations are unknown, Fredo Kazemi, director of Elite Model Management in Stockholmcondemned the “unethical” scouting method to Swedish wire service TT, adding that he does not believe the large, reputable model agencies work that way.

However, Madeleine Lithander, the head of a smaller agency in Sweden called Mady Models, told Radio Sweden that she is not surprised by the practice, even though she has not heard of any specific cases.

It’s well known that eating disorders plague fashion models in disproportionate numbers. According to an industry survey conducted by Model Alliance in 2012, 64.1 percent of models said they have been asked by their agencies to lose weight, while 31.2 percent admitted to suffering from an eating disorder.

Last year, in a health initiative launched across all of its editions, Vogue pledged that it would not “knowingly work with models under the age of 16 or who appear to have an eating disorder.” But as any fashion insider knows, the pledge was just one small step in a rather arduous battle.

Does Society Reward Women For Being Less Attractive?

original article published on The Huffington Post

It is well known to the point of why am I even saying this that men are under less pressure than women are to be beautiful. What is not so often mentioned is the extent to which men are rewarded for not looking beautiful. Not simply for abstaining from whichever “metrosexual” grooming endeavors or definitive challenging of gender norms (i.e. makeup), but actually looking a big ol’ mess.

Which brings us to a phenomenon I’ve discussed on (and off) my blog that I refer to as “too brilliant to bathe.” This is when a man — who may or may not be genetically endowed with square-jawed good looks, but it helps if he’s not — is able to attract accolades and acolytes by being thoroughly unpresentable. One sees this in the more intellectual professions, and among students, but not so much among finance-types. It involves greasy hair, perhaps green teeth. No physical exertion. A man will own just the one shirt, it will be some mix of tucked and untucked. If a button-down, buttons will be missing, or simply missed, askew. There will be ill-fitting pleated khakis. They will be stained.

Oh, and his manners won’t be so hot, either. Nor will he be any good at staying organized, but who cares? A woman — various women — will deal with the practical. Mom or a secretary will keep his papers organized, while female admirers or, if he’s older, Mrs. T-B-T-B will grease the wheels in social situations, and cook and clean, and remind him once a year that it’s time for his bath.

Thus, in exchange for looking his worst, a man will, under certain circumstances, be taken more seriously. It will be assumed that the time and effort he didn’t put into his appearance went to something more noble. Not video games, but “Being and Nothingness.” (Thus the importance of worn-out slacks, not sweatpants. A subtle distinction.) Maybe he was off finding the route to Mideast peace via comments to Facebook status updates, which didn’t leave him time to address a body-odor situation. Or maybe solving an as-yet-unsolved math problem got in the way of removing the remnants of yesterday’s lunch still crusted onto his blazer. Something really amazing is going on in his mind, and we know this not because of anything he’s produced, but because he looks the part.

There’s no female equivalent to this phenomenon. A woman is taken less seriously if she shows up to present on Kierkegaard looking like a TOWIE cast member. But for a woman, there’s no silver lining to not looking one’s best. Equivalent grooming-laxity in a woman is associated not with brilliance but with either radical feminism (it’s about making a point, not genuine absent-minded indifference) or mental illness. A woman who’s especially lacking in the conventional-good-lookingness department might be imagined to have other qualities that surely compensate (the proverbial great personality), but is not generally assumed to be a genius. Our image of a brilliant woman is that of an incredibly competent one. A Hillary Clinton, a Condoleezza Rice — put-together and efficient-looking. The kind of one-in-a-million abstract-thinking mind, the sort that must almost exist without a body attached, is not one it is popularly imagined a woman could possess.

Too-brilliant-to-bathe is something I generally associate with, well, sexism. Why does a man have the option of letting himself go and then some, only to be praised for this? Why do so many intelligent and very presentable women think so little of themselves as to consider unpresentable men as romantic partners? Why does society persist in believing true brilliance is only found in men?

But too-brilliant-to-bathe isn’t necessarily such a great deal for men, either. Why should men who do make an effort have to deal not only with societal suspicion (rooted in homophobia) but also a sense that they’re somehow less-than intellectually? And isn’t it likely that the cliché of the unwashed genius leads us to ignore a great many men who really are suffering, who don’t have it together socially or professionally, but whom we figure are just fine, because some men (but no women) are just like that?

Every time I delve into questions of male vs. female beauty, the only answer I can come up with is trite but unavoidable all the same: we need to expect more, effort-wise, from men, and less from women than is currently the case. How this is to come about, I have no idea.

The top 8 excuses people make for their unhappy lives.

Original article retrieved from The Huffington Post

In honor of the exciting new year upon us, I’ve been thinking of my many clients this year — my wonderful, reluctant, often overwhelmed but always resilient clients who’ve made enormous positive change in their lives and careers this year. It’s been a heartwarming experience to watch their lives unfolding in astounding ways. I’ve thought long and hard about what makes these individuals able to bring about dramatic change and why others don’t or won’t.

People who are able to make life change have a sufficient dose of clarity, confidence, courage and commitment. Those four ingredients can make all the difference between a miserable life and a brilliant one. Folks almost never start out with all of these assets, but their commitment to changing what hurts and limits them urges them into a flowing river of change that brings more clarity, which in turn gets them in touch with their worthiness and confidence, which then gives them access to more courage to create life as they want it.

Can everyone do this? Yes, everyone CAN, but only a few WILL. Why won’t thousands of unhappy and unfulfilled people create life in the image of their dreams and visions?

Because they make excuses — millions and millions of excuses (both conscious and subconscious) that keep them from believing they are worthy of an amazing life or trusting they have what it takes to create it.

I’d like to share what I’ve seen are the eight most damaging excuses people make — excuses, faulty reasoning and destructive myths that keep people down, and make their lives smaller, less joyful and rewarding than they ever need to be.

Here are the eight most damaging excuses people make:

1. I don’t have the money to do this.
How people respond to the idea of getting outside help (coaching, etc.) acts as a metaphor for how they deal with their problems and their lives. I can’t tell you how many hundreds of people reached out to me this year desperate for assistance, asking me for free help and claiming they don’t have any money to spend on getting the help they need, though they realize that outside help is exactly what is necessary now.

I know this will inflame some readers, but here’s the reality — if you believe there’s no way for you to generate even $250, if you can’t think of any way to be of service to someone else that would generate more income for you, then you’re stuck in the biggest excuse of all — that money is the problem and the root of scarcity in your life.

But that’s completely incorrect. What’s lacking is your understanding of your enormous capabilities, talents and gifts, and how you can be of service to others and the world. No matter who you are and what your life experiences and history have been, you have something important to offer that others need and will pay you well for.

If money has been the key reason why you won’t get help or make life or career change, let it go, and understand that the more you empower yourself to take control, the more you’ll access your ability to be of service and make more money. Don’t play the victim anymore. (If money is a recurring problem for you, read the groundbreaking book The Energy of Money, by Maria Nemeth).

2. I’m not ready to do the work required to change.
Hundreds of unhappy and unfulfilled people admitted to me this year, “I’m just not ready to make change.” Here’s a stark reality folks — no one is really ready to make change. We resist change fiercely. We change because what we have created in our lives has become intolerable and we finally realize there’s no way to overcome it except moving through and beyond it, and that takes energy and courage.

As we embark on 2013, I ask you this — can you let go of your belief that you’re not ready? Can you simply accept that if you want something different in your life, there is no better time than now to bring that into being, despite how “ready” you feel?

3. I’m afraid of what I don’t know.
Welcome to being human. We’ve all heard the expression, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.” But in truth, this is just another excuse for staying stuck. The only way to have an exciting and enriching life is to stretch way out of your comfort zone and to take on challenges that make you feel afraid of failure and embarrassment. Once you make facing your demons a common occurrence in your life, you’ll realize that “the devil’ is simply your ego fearing its demise. In other words, you are deathly afraid of making mistakes, walking through the unknown and appearing (to yourself and others) as “less than.” But that’s what life is — unknown, uncontrolled and unlimited. Go for it — find the one area that would excite you the most and stretch into the unknown. (Download my free Career Path Self-Assessment to understand what would excite you most in your career in 2013.)

4. What if it doesn’t work out?
I hear this excuse weekly: “What if this big change I’m trying doesn’t work out?” Well, then you’ll deal with it, and you’ll become stronger, more confident and more capable than you were before you tried this new direction. This happened to me after my 18-year corporate stint and before I launched my career coaching practice, I became a marriage and family therapist. After serving as a therapist for five years, I faced the reality that I simply didn’t enjoy or feel well-suited to the professional identity of a therapist. Some would say that “it didn’t work out.” But I believe it did — I use every single tool and strategy that I learned in my therapy training in my coaching, writing, speaking and training work. In the end, it did work out — I just needed to find the right avenue in which to apply the powerful and transformative tools that therapy training offered.

5. What would people say if I did this?
Let’s face it — many people in this world are judgmental, negative, naysaying and critical, and don’t believe in power of your (or their) abilities. It’s a fact. But are you going to let this type of thinking keep you from changing what needs to be revised in your life? It’s a group mentality that says we have to keep doing in life what makes us miserable. Embrace a more individualistic and self-reliant view. Trust in yourself, and believe that you have the right and the worthiness to live your life as you dream it. Don’t let the naysayers hold you back.

6. My family needs me to keep doing this job I hate.
No, they don’t. Your family needs you to be ONE thing and one thing only — all that you are meant to be in this world, nothing less. You didn’t come to this planet at this time simply to pay your mortgage. Of course, you have financial obligations that must be fulfilled. But while doing that, always plant the seeds for your future self, for the self that wants to grow, and be bigger and better and in service to the world in ways that give form to your highest and best life intentions. Families demand a lot, but don’t kid yourself that your being a great family person, parent or provider has to mean that you give up on yourself as a highly contributive and fulfilled individual in this world. (If you long for a better career, get the career growth training you need from my Amazing Career Project and download the free homework “Assessing and Closing Your Power Gaps.”)

7. I don’t really believe it’s going to work out.
People who are chronically miserable and underdeveloped often have at their core a faulty belief that no matter what they really want, it’s not going to work out. If you have this belief, look at your childhood,and the messages you learned growing up with the family you were given. Understand that the belief that it won’t work came from someone or something else outside of you. We’re not born believing that the universe is unfriendly and uncaring. We learn that. What you want is most certainly possible for you, but not if you don’t believe it is.

8. This is just me — I can’t change it.
Anything you think and feel can be changed. You are NOT your thoughts. You are separate from your thoughts and emotions. But you must become aware of your thoughts and emotions before you can be free of their hold on you. I’ve personally witnessed the transformation of hundreds of people’s lives once they realize they can change what they think and feel. (And I’m a living example of how we can overcome extremely limiting beliefs and experiences to reach a much more joyful way of life). If you’re chronically unhappy and dissatisfied, this isn’t “just you.” This is a version of you that wants modification. You don’t have to live with chronic unhappiness — get the help you need to be free of it. (If you are suffering from a chronic depressed mood or thinking, therapeutic assistance may be of help to you. Ask your doctor for a referral or visit the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and find a therapist in your area. Don’t wait.)

If you want something different in 2013, stop making excuses. Embrace the fact that your longing for something better means you are ready for change. You deserve it, you’re ready, and it’s time.

 

Why Long Distance Relationships Are Such A Bad Idea.

Dating and having relationships is an important part of the human experience. Most of you will agree that finding that one person that is just right for you, that treats you the way that you want to be treated and talks to you the way you want to be talked to, is one of the most — if not the most — important goals in life. There are so many beautiful people on this planet.

A good amount of them can be found living in relatively close proximity to us. I do not doubt that in your neighborhood alone you will find at least a handle of attractive people of whatever your sexual preference.

Even if you lived in West Bumblef*ck, I am sure there is at least one person in your town or village that you wouldn’t mind boning. Yet, there is a high probability that at one point or another in our lives, we will find ourselves in what we like to a call a long-distance relationship. My question is: Why?

Unless you grew up on watching foreign romance films, I don’t see any way that a girl living in America could actually want to marry a Frenchman. We usually are okay with getting our pickings from nearby — say, in the same country.

be free

 

Nevertheless, people come to visit from abroad and you occasionally meet them. I myself had a short fling last summer with a foreigner and I will be honest, I plan on visiting her in Paris some time soon — but I’m going there to get some good, wine-fueled, European loving, not to begin a relationship. And that’s how it should be: bag the foreigners and date local.

This is why I love NYC…dating the locals usual means dating foreigners. What can I say? I like them exotic, imported. But I have had several friends in the past in long-distance relationships. And no, none of them are still together. In fact, I have one friend that is about to begin a long-distance relationship with a guy from Belgium. Idiots. Why would anyone think that a long-distance relationship is a good idea?

I mean, I get the initial appeal — all romantic seeming and what not. I get the want of having to long for a person, to miss them; it intensifies the feelings that you have for that person. The less you physically see a person, the more you begin to deposit your own projection of who you believe them to be onto their being rather than seeing them as they really are.

There is something that gets lost when the human interaction that you have with a person is mainly via tech gadget. For starters, body language is extremely important. Secondly, it’s hard to have sex over an Ethernet cable — Skype just doesn’t quite hit the spot.

cyber boyfriend

 

Not having sex for extended periods of time can’t be good for your health. Actually, I’m sure it won’t kill you, but why date someone that you can only sleep with a handful of times in a year when you can date someone that lives closer by and will rock your world several times a week? That’s a ton of orgasmic difference.

If you can see your lover at least once a week, then I can still understand keeping them around. When going into a relationship, we must go into it with a purpose. Ask yourself not only why you are dating this person, but why you are dating at all. What do you want out of the relationship? Where do you ultimately want things to go? It’s okay to say that you just want to see where things will go, but only if the person lives on the same continent.

Seeing where things will go with a person that lives in the same city is one thing; seeing where things will go with a person that lives a plane flight away is a whole other. A relationship’s development over a distance is sluggish if not entirely stagnant.

If you are seriously dating someone because you want to spend time with them…then a long-distance relationship is not the right choice. If you are dating because you want sex… then a long-distance relationship is not the right choice.

back

 

If you are dating because you want to find the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with…then a long-distance relationship is not the right choice; sooner or later you will need to see each other weekly in order for anything serious to develop. However, if you are in a long-distance relationship with someone because you love them, then I’m sorry my friend; you are screwed.

The one and only excuse that I will accept for being in a long-distance relationship is being in love. When you fall for someone, the choice of whether or not you ought to be dating someone essentially evaporates. If you love a person, then not being able to at the very least talk to them regularly will be more painful than the possibility of a breakup.

The good news — or bad news, depending on how you look at it — you won’t be capable of staying away from each other for very long. Slowly but surely the urge to be with each other will be unbearable and you will have no choice but to live in the same city.

covers

 

This, again, has its own dangers. Often at times, the love that we feel during a long-distance relationship fades shortly after the happy couple begins to spend more time together. It’s easy to over-romanticize things when a long distance separates you.

It’s much more difficult to keep the flame burning when you see each other everyday. To sum up: avoid long-distance relationships if at all possible. You will be much happier dating someone you can actually spend quality time with regularly and not only over quick, short spurts. If you are head-over-heels for that person living in Bulgaria, then…best of luck.

map

 

Paul Hudson | Elite. 

For more from Paul, follow him on Twitter @MrPaulHudson

A Fashion Crisis

An economic crisis is something that affects every spectrum of life, and this includes the fashion industry. There are several examples that show us what happens in the fashion world during a time of crisis. There are even theories related to our attitudes towards clothing when the economy takes a bad direction, such as the “hemline theory” where the length of the skirts women wear are used as predictors of the direction of the stock market. In the past year, the world has experienced and economic climate as unstable as a pre-pubescent girl’s temperament, and this climate has been reflected in the trends we have spotted both on the runways and on the streets.

The recent economic crisis divided fashion lovers in two very evident groups: those who resorted to minimalism as a way to appear modest, and those who resorted to opulence to protect their status. The latter group is the one responsible for our generation’s obsession with brands and logos and the importance placed upon luxury products, services and experiences. They can easily be identified because of their “Balmania” and overall obsession with “bling.” I use Balmain as an example because it is a brand that is well-known for its opulent designs and excessively ornamented or “blinged-out” garments. Therefore it is appropriate to associate this brand with people who in a time of crisis decide to be flashy in order to affirm their status. These people are easily spotted because they dress in more high-end brands than high-street ones and make sure that the garments they choose have visible and well-known logos, as if to say: “What crisis? I can still afford this.” To them we could also attribute the world’s fascination with “it-girls” and over-the-top lifestyles.

fashion crisis

The epitome of these aforementioned Balmaniacs (people who are obsessed with demonstrating that they have money) are The Kardashians, who have become a pop-culture phenomenon among the world’s youth because they portray a lifestyle to which most people in the world can only aspire to.  The Kardashian girls as well as other “celebrities” like Paris Hilton have become a household brand simply for sporting their last names. They are not the conventional celebrity who is glorified for fictitious roles in award-wining movies or platinum selling music albums. They are more famous for being than actually doing, feeling they are entitled to this fame because of who their parents or grandparents are. The worst part is that their fans choose forget that in order for them to have these extravagant lifestyles they admire so much, their ancestors had to work really hard.

This trend of being a celebrity simply because you have the right look or name, has also become popular in the fashion industry with the large amount of street-style stars and personal style blogs. These blogs have become as important as the top selling fashion publications due to their large readership. Those who read them do so because they are sold the illusion that these writers are just like them, only with the great fortune of owning expensive wardrobes. In reality, most of these bloggers are endorsed by the brands they wear and promote. The clothes they wear are sent to them by designers, who use these girls as a guerilla-marketing tactic. This defeats the purpose of a personal style blog, since just like a model these girl’s outfits are styled by professionals rather than themselves.

feathers

When these celebrities and street-style stars get a hold of social media, a thirst is created to not only strive for status but also a need to document it. This group can no longer do things just for the sake of it; but they have to show the world they did it as well. It’s a group of people so hedonistic, self-involved, self-obsessed and shallow that they consider themselves celebrities simply because they have hundreds of followers on Instagram and “this many” likes in their picture with their Celine luggage tote. Social media has also been responsible for our generation’s thirst for attention, which is achieved by posting pictures of your most glorious moments for the world to see and declaring yourself and “Social-Media celebrity” and living with a heightened sense of self-importance.

These groups of people are those who only watch TV shows like “Gossip Girl” or “Downton Abbey” because they tell the stories of a very thin upper layer of society rather than regular people living regular lives. Coincidentally these two shows have some of the most expensive wardrobes in the history of television. Gossip Girl, the show about Manhattan’s elite, has influenced our desire for wealth and brands because the kids who watched it are now young adults who have become obsessed with owning the products they see on the show, even thought they may not have the acquisitive power to buy them. These characters can be found mostly in the 25-and-under age group, since they are a generation that didn’t experience war and grew up in abundance, with access to luxuries unknown by their ancestors.

serena

It would be and over-generalization, however, to say that this has been the entire world’s reaction to our economic climate. This analysis only refers to a sector of the population who have either come across their wealth very recently and feel the need to buy anything that equates to status, or have been affected by the crisis but wish to hide their struggle. However since they are the ones who are flashier and “noisier” because of their opulence, they are the ones who are more easily identified. The stronger trend we have witnessed in past years is a collective effort from high-end brands to improve the quality of their products in order to avoid disposability and justify the high prices customers pay for their brand.

In such fashion, Celine’s Creative Director Phoebe Philo has made it her mission to rid the brand of disposable products by resorting to minimalism in recent collections, so the clothes don’t go out of style so quickly. By designing functional clothing, Philo has not only boosted sales at the once-forgotten Celine, but has made it the brand of choice for the “power woman.” Her choice of cuts and colors in the past collections are to thank for the success, since Celine clothing is appropriate for both the office and everyday life, making buyers feel that it is a good investment when money is scarce.

celine

Taking a different perspective, Louis Vuitton saw the economic crisis as an opportunity to revive trends from other decades, such as the 60’s and the 70’s, in its “Voyage Dans Les Temps” collection. This was an effective move because even if you can no longer afford to buy Louis Vuitton, you can find similar garments in vintage shops or even your mother’s closet. This creates the illusion that even if you can’t buy a new garment, you can still be trendy. Another way to sell the illusion of luxury to those affected by the crisis has been the ubiquitous designer collaborations with high-street brands like H&M and Target. These collaborations provide people who normally couldn’t afford designer goods the opportunity to own the dream. However this all goes back to our generation’s obsession with looking expensive, which is the same reason why Herve Leger’s body-con wrap dress has been replicated by multiple high-street brands. People want to feel they own designers even if they are only designer collaborations.

Like a lot of people who resorted to wearing their money during this crisis, a lot of people decided it would be better to hide their wealth. The BOBO trend (Boheme Bourgeois) is the epitome of wealthy people who dress like they don’t have money while wearing very expensive clothes. The leaders of this movement are Vanessa Bruno and Isabel Marant, who design derelict chic clothing that make one look homeless even thought one probably lives in a very expensive home. Marant has been an especially influential designer in the past few years not only because she incorporated military prints into her collections, which is characteristic of the fashion industry when the economy is bad, but also because she took a regular product and transformed into a luxury one.

sexyback

Marant’s luxury wedge sneaker served as a domino effect for transforming regular everyday products like sneakers and T-shirts into luxury items. Most people can no longer afford to drop thousands of dollars on a formal gown they will probably wear once, but they are willing to spend hundreds of dollars on a luxury sneaker that they will be able to wear multiple times. In their mind this represents a good investment since the utility justifies the cost. This creation has also influenced Stella McCartney’s “sport-fashion” and multiple collaborations with Adidas since people would now rather have expensive sportswear and casual clothing that they can wear more often.

This crisis has made a lot of big fashion houses re-structure and re-strategize to retain profit, because they really need the money. They have been forced to make their couture lines more wearable because people stopped buying them. Dior was hit especially hard during the crisis, since it’s former creative director, John Galliano, created a reputation for the brand, of making only costume-esque clothing that was not fit to be worn in real life. After Galliano’s departure from the brand due to anti-Semitic remarks, Dior was forced to hire a new creative director to design more wearable clothes and give the brand a makeover.

simple beauty

Just as Phoebe Philo revived Celine through minimalism, Raf Simmons revived Dior by creating neater silhouettes and paying more attention to the quality of the fabrics to avoid disposability. He also introduced a new gamma of colors such as brights, neons and pastels onto the Dior runways, an uncharacteristic move for the brand but one that helped increase Dior’s sales by 24 percent in 2012. This group of designers- Marant, McCartney, Philo and Simmons- were perhaps the main power players in the fashion scene over the past year. They influenced their surrounding fashion houses and high-street brands to utilize functional fabrics, implement visible seams, and pay attention to the garment’s cut, fit and proportion.

Bad economies make us idolize anyone who is not affected by it, or who can sell us an illusion of better days. One can consider this a parallel between those who are spending a lot of money on labels to look rich, and those who still spend large amounts of money on clothes that don’t look expensive in order to appear low key. Either way, the economic climate and designer efforts to become more budget conscious have not prevented people from spending a lot of money. The economy marks an evident divide between those who wish to flaunt their wealth through a baroque, blinged out style of excess and flashiness, and those who have become more fiscally conscious. For the latter group, it is no longer about owning massive amounts of seasonal clothing that will go out of style in the blink of an eye, but rather about owning a carefully curated selection of high quality items. There are justified reasons behind the trend revolution we saw in 2012, it’s just a matter of choosing which “side” with which you most identify.

Perspective.

Perspective.

When Pretty Girls Hate On Themselves, Where Does That Leave The Rest Of Us?

original article retrieved from Cosmopolitan.com

Your Morning Spit-Take: Audrey Hepburn Didn’t Think She Was Gorgeous

audrey

It’s sad. If you’re a human woman on this planet, the chances are pretty good that there’s something on (or missing from) your body that you curse daily. Mine’s my chin, or lack thereof. On good days, I hardly see it. On bad days, I see this picture of Megan Amram. From that mirror scene in Regina George’s bedroom in Mean Girls, to the devastatingprevalence of eating disorders and plastic surgery, American women are constantly in a state of agony over their bodies. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the easiest ways to bond with other girls.

Even supermodel Brooklyn Decker, whose legs are probably as tall as my entire body and whose hair deserves a seminar at the Blake Lively and Connie Britton’s Glorious Unicorn Mane Academy, has her own insecurities about her looks, as she confessed to Women’s Health via The Daily Mail. Decker, who’s no stranger to fitness herself (not to mention married to Andy Roddick), was awestruck about Jennifer Aniston’s bikini body on the set of Just Go With It. She was so self-conscious about her own that she declined an invitation to work out with Jen: “I was invited to do yoga with her on set but they had so many good yogis I was intimidated and chickened out.” Humblebrag or honest insecurity? You be the judge.

I mean, Christ on a cracker. If Brooklyn Decker’s insecure about her body, where does that leave the rest of us? But here’s where I officially throw in the towel: Audrey Hepburn, the gamine of Sabrina—Holly freaking Golightly, for God’s sake—didn’t think she was pretty. Her son Luca Doti spoke to Vanity Fair about his mother’s insecurity with her looks, which Hepburn referred to as “a good mixture of defects.” “She thought she had a big nose and big feet, and she was too skinny and not enough breast. She would look in the mirror and say, ‘I don’t understand why people see me as beautiful.’”

The 1957 movie Funny Face starred Hepburn as an intellectual book store clerk who’s discovered by women’s magazine photographer Fred Astaire and whisked off to Paris to be a supermodel. The title, which of course is a references to Hepburn’s face, echoes her own sentiment about “a good mixture of defects.” I’ll never say life doesn’t imitate art again.

Pictures Lie A Thousand Words

Original article retrieved from Elitedaily.com

Social Media is the modern-day equivalent of a dick measuring contest

As the good old saying goes, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” The phrase has saturated modern culture in all its trite glory. It was probably even Kodak’s slogan when it released the revolutionary waterproof film camera more than a decade ago.

But back then pictures actually had meaning, because the act of capture was selective and limited. Each camera, at most, had 40 photos — and there was the necessary trip to the drug store for development.

With the small sum of pictures available, every point and snap needed to be worth a thousand words, because they were authentic and representative. There were no “undo” or “delete” buttons, so thousands of exposures couldn’t be wasted on duck faces or selfies. Photos had meaning then.

mansion

They captured special memories, but today, the proliferation of cameras, and their social media counterparts, have flooded these special moments, and have catapulted every moment to the status of deserved documentation. This deluge has retracted from the inherent specialness of the moment and has proved detrimental to our society.

But those Kodak moments are beyond us and being in a photo during any occasion is easier than finding a slutoritiy girl to fuck on college campuses. The problem is not just in the multitude of these ridiculous photos, but that they might be the biggest liars our society faces beyond any political candidate.

Pictures lie a thousand words, it’s that simple. Firstly, in the deception of the aesthetic. It’s amazing how different someone can look when you put them through three different Instagram filters, sharpen the correct areas and add a drop shadow.

Boats n hoes

It can take a solid 5 and make everyone think that she is a 9. The rule of thumb: never trust how good a girl looks in pictures. Yet we fall for it, continuously, because we actually want to believe she is as hot as all her photos pretend she is.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times we have been disappointed in encountering a girl in real life, having been duped by how good a girl looks in photos. Sometimes I swear it must be a different person in her pictures, or her photographer must have been Terry Richardson’s brother. Photos deceive. Not just for women, but men as well, and I’m sure women go through the same struggle as we do. The deception is real.

Photos also lie about activity and social prowess. Between the nice cars we post on Instagram and pictures of us posing with a celebrity, we have skillfully discovered how to project a fantastic life unto our own.

Private-Yacht-Charter

The Ferrari might be from a car show, and you throwing a few empty bottles on your carpet might make it seem like you’re at the craziest party ever. But if you were really having that great of time, why are you so preoccupied with your Instagram?

The photos that we expose to the world tend to demonstrate an impressive lifestyle we more than likely don’t live. We deceive to impress others, to prove that life is good — or better than theirs. The only thing that matters is getting that double tap to send you beyond 11 likes into the digits range.

People have structured their lives around these photos, living through the gaps between the next possible upload, proving that they are doing something with their lives: be it a nightclub, skiing or simply cooking. Life becomes artificial: a day strung together by seven or so uploads.

rich kids of instagram

 

But the biggest way these photos lie are in the emotions that they project. They wedge themselves in the disparity of how happy we are and how happy we appear. You see it all the time when two people break up and they go into a picture war of who can fake being the happiest best.

We parade a life of happiness and ease to all our friends, and this is when insecurity develops. People look at their lives and ask themselves why it doesn’t look as great as the some of the other people documenting the intricacies of their own. But it’s inherently false, all of it.

Photos have gone from capturing moments to remember and cherish to an all out competition of artifice and deception. And it’s a competition that no one can win. Our lives have followed suit, bathed in pretense. A photo used to be worth something, but its value is plummeting.

Preston Waters | Elite.

For further information, reference this blog: Richkids